Living here in
It was so amazing to have my parents here to spend Christmas with us, it was so special to just be with them, not to mention all they brought and the lovely things we did together. Nothing can match up to time with family. But then they had to leave. I knew when we signed up for life here that waving my parents off at Chileka airport would always be hard and I was right. It doesn't matter that I signed up for it, it was so hard and it still is. I miss my parents so much that it makes me ache - whenever I see Eilidh do something new I wish they were here to see it. The lovely thing is that Eilidh is so aware now and totally knows who they are, she waves and blows kisses to their photo on the wall which is precious. Anyway, the log and short of it is that I just love my family - all of them - aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, in laws and outlaws and I miss them all so very much.
So that was a difficult time. And then New Years Eve hit. On Friday we had a lovely day in Mulanje with Iain, Ruth and Isaac but the whole day was tainted because Eilidh was so unwell. It was so hard to see her like that. We got home and she seemed better and on Saturday she was much more herself. We went for dinner at friends’ house (which was so lovely) but then Eilidh started being sick again at about 9pm and she vomited constantly until about 3am. At home that would have been a worry, here, I will be honest, it was terrifying. We had no idea what was wrong and no idea where to go or what to do. So we called our good friend who, lovingly, answered her phone at 2am, gave us kind, calm words and told us to take Eilidh to the emergency department at a local hospital. It is so daunting when you aren’t sure if the hospital will be ok, the doctors knowledgeable or the medication available but we were very reassured when we got there and all was well. I will, however, never again be ungrateful for the NHS. Before they would see Eilidh we had to fill in all the paperwork to make sure we could pay, such a foreign concept when you are so used to being seen by very good doctors free of charge. Anyway, They took some blood (not fun) and confirmed that Eilidh was fighting a nasty bug but she didn't have malaria and was not dehydrated - huge relief. They gave her a jab to stop her vomiting and we brought her home where, needless to say, she spent the night cuddled in bed with us, only the second time we have ever done that, so we could hold her and reassure her that she was ok. She slept the next night with us as the same thing happened all over again – fine during the day, vomiting at night, back to hospital and home again.
New Years Eve was up there with the toughest nights of my life. I am a Mum, a grown up, and all I wanted was my Mum, nurse MummyCarole, to come and let me know Eilidh was OK and my Dad to be here to reassure us that all was alright. It's hard being a grown up sometimes. In all of this though, God gave me a glimpse of His heart. While Eilidh was so sick I just wanted to take her pain into my own body. I would happily have suffered so that she didn't have to. I would happily have swapped with her, my health for her sickness. God showed me that is what He did for us. He happily took our pain on Himself so that we don't have to suffer. I am such an imperfect parent but He shows us how to do it right, how to love without condition. My parents give me a good idea of how that is done and I know they learned that from Him too. They show me His love so that I can understand it a bit better and so I can show His love to my precious Little Miss Sunshine, who, thankfully, is now much much better.
I have learned a lot in the past couple of weeks. Maybe they are simple truths but sometimes, in the midst of the complicated, difficult, scary times of life, simple truths become the most profound.
So 2012 has started.... interestingly. I am so thankful that we don't just get to start again once a year but every day His mercies are new. Here's to tomorrow... a new adventure waiting to happen... Happy New Year.
